so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
