Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating

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(909): View more from California

my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks

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(778): View more from British Columbia

working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.

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(830): View more from Texas

You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy

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(905): View more from Ontario

something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance

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(714): View more from California

I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister

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(845): View more from New York

You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.

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(407): View more from Florida

How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.

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