first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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