God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
