those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
