Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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