Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
