In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
