where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
