Plan B is the new Plan A
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
