Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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