dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
