I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
