You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
