fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
