Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize