just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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