he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
