hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
