why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
