I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
