Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
