When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
