Can i not drive my cunt home
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
