do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
