so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
