Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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