I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
