Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
