Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
