Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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