I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
