Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
