do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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