You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
is it fun? or sober?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
