i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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