you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
