I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
They took my balls.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
