Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
