Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
