its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
