I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
