I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
