would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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