my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
