She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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