Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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