Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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