Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The air was thick with penises
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
