garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
