I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
