I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
