Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
