I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
