is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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